A Challenging Day

Oh! What a day! School starts in 2 days. My kids are bored with everything! I can't keep them happy so I'm frustrated! In the middle of it all, I needed to go to Walmart. In the middle of an isle, a sweet little old lady stops me and says, "You have the cutest kids! What a blessing it is to have them! I've been watching them and you are so blessed!" It instantly calmed me down. I realized that there are things I can let go and not be such a mean mom about. I realized that yes, I am VERY blessed to have my children. Yes, I have bad days but lately it seems like I'm always mad at them, always mean and grumpy and the good days are far and few between because I'm constantly fighting with them. That sweet little lady in Walmart really put me in my place and made me realize that I just need to calm down and not jump so quickly down their throats about the little things. It's not worth it. I'm going to try harder to be calmer with them, more patient with them, and happier with them. I really do love my children; endlessly! I want to show it more often. I need to be a better example to them of Christlike love. I'm grateful for that sweet little angel that the Lord chose to send to me so I can try to change and be a better mom to my children.

“A stronger personal faith in Jesus Christ will prepare [your children] for the challenges they will most surely face.”

—Elder Neil L. Andersen

Things CAN get worse...

We still haven't secured a job. Paul's ankle still bothers him so he can't exercise the way he'd like to, I still can't hear out of my ear and I didn't think life could get any worse at the moment. NEVER think that! It CAN! It doesn't matter how bad it seems, it can always get worse!

I had a followup hearing test on Tuesday(today is Thursday), again, to see if my hearing after my surgery has improved at all. It hasn't, even a little. The doctor can't explain it so he sent me in to have an MRI to look for a brain tumor. My life literally passed before my eyes these last few days. I've never been that scared in my entire life! How can I die and leave the kids so young? What will happen to Paul? I'm only 30, I can't die yet! I'm not ready! etc, etc.

Paul and I decided to fast today for good results. Today, the results came back and they were great! Nothing there at all but we still can't explain the hearing loss. The Doc thinks it's a virus that attacks the nerve in the ear canal. Labirynthitis (or something like that). It's very rare. (I'm the queen of rare!) I'm on a steroid that he hopes will get rid of it but it could take a year for my body to heal itself, even just partially. The hearing loss could be permanent, or I could have just a little come back. Today, I'm just grateful to be alive! :) I'll think about the hearing loss in a few more weeks once I'm done with the steroid! I haven't been able to eat or sleep in 3 days. (The upside, I've lost 6 pounds!)

The Lord is real! He is here with us! He listens and answers our prayers! On Tuesday, I said a very specific prayer, and asked the Lord, "Please just tell me. Do I have a brain tumor?" I had a very distinct answer immediately after asking. "No!" I didn't know if that was just wishful thinking or the Spirit. So I asked again and had the same answer. Now, I haven't been the best with having a lot of faith, nor do I know exactly always if it's the Spirit speaking to me or if it's my own wishful thinking. So I still had the doubt in the back of my mind and I couldn't help getting emotional thinking that my time on this earth could be about up. I re-evaluated my life. Am I spiritually ready? No! Have I raised my kids good enough? No! Have I forgiven all that needed forgiving? Yes. I do feel like I've done that. But still, I was horrified that my time on this earth might just be about over. It really awakened me to what I need to do to improve my life. I'm grateful for that revelation! I wouldn't want that experience ever again, but my heart is SO full of gratitude today for the Lord's blessing that I'm OK, and that I could look back on my life and realize what I need to do to improve it.

It's funny because the one little detail that was left out, that potentially could have prevented all this worry and re-evaluation, wasn't revealed until the doctor was giving me my MRI results. The tumor he was looking for would be benign! NOT cancerous! It's just a growth where it shouldn't be. Thanks Doc, for not telling me this on TUESDAY! Well, as much as I went through these last few days, I really am grateful that I could realize what I need to do differently in my life. What I need to do better! I'm grateful that I've learned so much from this experience.

This scripture brought me comfort. It was literally as if the Lord was speaking directly to me.

Matthew 9:22 But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee ^awhole.

I know I need more faith. I know I need to NOT question the Spirit when it speaks to me. The Lord answered my prayers on Tuesday night. I could have had that comfort all day Wednesday and today as I waited for the results if I had had more faith. Yesterday, I got a very distinct feeling that I was being prayed for. I've never felt that before and it was very humbling. I know the Spirit spoke to me in that moment to try to give me more comfort. I'm trying to have more faith. I'm learning. Isn't that what this life is about?

The Word of Wisdom

I've been studying the Word of Wisdom lately. I have had questions arise in my mind about drinking pop with caffeine and drinking herbal tea. In my studying (through the scriptures, articles on-line, lesson manuals, books written by apostles, LDS.org), I ran across a Sunday School lesson which helped to wrap up the findings to my study. I'm at peace now with my questions. I've also liked studying the scriptures this way; having a topic first, then searching for scriptures within that topic. I thought I'd share here, the Sunday School lesson, in part.

"Lesson 22: The Word of Wisdom: “A Principle with Promise”," Doctrine and Covenants and Church History Gospel Doctrine Teacher’s Manual, (1999)

D&C 89:4 Behold, verily, thus saith the Lord unto you: In consequence of ^aevils and designs which do and will exist in the hearts of ^bconspiring men in the last days, I have ^cwarned you, and forewarn you, by giving unto you this word of wisdom by revelation—

"Heavenly Father has provided our bodies for a divine purpose. They are a necessary part of His plan for our eternal progression. Because of their importance, Heavenly Father has given us a stewardship to care for them. In our dispensation, as in ancient times, He has revealed principles of good health to help us keep our bodies clean and pure. Our obedience to these principles is an indication of our love for Him and an expression of our gratitude.

...our bodies are temples and are holy to the Lord. We should keep them pure because they are the dwelling places for our spirits, which are the offspring of God. Respecting our bodies as temples of God manifests our testimony that we are children of God. It also keeps our bodies pure so they can be dwelling places for the Holy Ghost.

...the Lord revealed the Word of Wisdom to the Prophet Joseph Smith long before the accuracy of its principles was fully documented in scientific studies. This revelation anticipated the current epidemic of substance abuse. It forewarns and protects us against specific problems of our day.

Not for the Body

...the Lord has not specified everything that we should and should not partake of. “Such revelation is unnecessary,” President Joseph Fielding Smith said. “The Word of Wisdom is a basic law. It points the way and gives us ample instruction in regard to both food and drink. … If we sincerely follow what is written with the aid of the Spirit of the Lord, … we will know what is good and what is bad for the body” (“Your Question: The Word of Wisdom,” Improvement Era, Feb. 1956, 78–79).

1. a. D&C 89:5–7. (Wine or strong drink.)
2. b. D&C 89:8. (Tobacco.)
3. c. D&C 89:9. (Hot drinks, defined as tea and coffee.)

The harmful substances that are prohibited in the Word of Wisdom cause addiction. Why are addictions to these substances dangerous? How can people overcome addiction to drugs and other harmful substances?

...there is hope for people who struggle with addiction. Overcoming addiction usually requires great personal desire and discipline, together with repentance and help from the Lord. Family, friends, and Church leaders may also provide help, and in some cases professional help may be necessary.

Good for the Body

1. a. D&C 89:10. (Wholesome herbs—nourishing vegetables and plants.)
2. b. D&C 89:11. (Fruit.)
3. c. D&C 89:12; see also D&C 49:19. (Flesh of beasts and fowls.)
4. d. D&C 89:14–17. (Grains.)
5. e. D&C 88:124. (Retiring to bed early and rising early—getting adequate sleep.)

How does getting adequate sleep affect us physically and spiritually?

President Brigham Young said: “Instead of doing two days’ work in one day, wisdom would dictate to [the Saints] that if they desire long life and good health, they must, after sufficient exertion, allow the body to rest before it is entirely exhausted. When exhausted, some argue that they need stimulants. … But instead of these kind of stimulants they should recruit by rest” (Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. John A. Widtsoe [1941], 187).

Promised Blessings

1. a. D&C 89:18. (Physical health.)
2. b. D&C 89:19. (Wisdom and great treasures of knowledge.)
3. c. D&C 89:20. (The ability to run and not be weary and walk and not faint.)
4. d. D&C 89:21. (Protection from the destroying angel.)

...those who obey the Word of Wisdom will generally live longer and have a better quality of life than if they did not obey it. However, some people have severe illnesses or disabilities despite obeying the Word of Wisdom...these people can receive the spiritual blessings of obeying the Word of Wisdom even if their physical difficulties continue. Moreover, the Lord’s promises are for eternity, and those who do not receive all the promised blessings in this life will receive them hereafter.

...obeying the Word of Wisdom helps a person’s mental capacities...it helps a person receive spiritual treasures of knowledge, such as testimony, knowledge of divine truths, personal revelation, patriarchal blessings, and temple ordinances and covenants.

Elder Boyd K. Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve said: “I have come to know … that a fundamental purpose of the Word of Wisdom has to do with revelation. … If someone ‘under the influence’ [of harmful substances] can hardly listen to plain talk, how can they respond to spiritual promptings that touch their most delicate feelings? As valuable as the Word of Wisdom is as a law of health, it may be much more valuable to you spiritually than it is physically” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1979, 28–29; or Ensign, Nov. 1979, 20).

...the Lord has given us the Word of Wisdom because He loves us and is concerned for our physical and spiritual well-being...the Word of Wisdom is more than a code of physical health; it is also a key to great spiritual blessings...as we follow this counsel, the Lord will fulfill His promises to bless us physically and spiritually.

1. Obeying the Word of Wisdom would solve the world’s economic problems

• President Heber J. Grant, the seventh President of the Church, taught that “the Word of Wisdom … would solve the economic problems … of every … country, if it were obeyed by the people of the world” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1936, 48). How do you think this could be so?

  Consider the amount of land, money, and other resources that are used to produce harmful substances, advertise them, purchase them, and treat the consequences of their use. For example, in 1985 the cost in America of health care and lost productivity related to the use of tobacco was approximately $65 billion (see Ensign, Sept. 1986, 61). The costs of the production and use of alcohol are also very high. Consider the potential economic impact of using these resources for beneficial purposes rather than destructive ones.

2. Obeying the Word of Wisdom is associated with additional benefits

Social scientists have found that Church members who live the gospel, including the Word of Wisdom, are more likely than others to be happy in their marriages and satisfied with their family life. They are less likely to engage in premarital or extramarital sex, to experience depression, and to be involved in delinquent, deviant, or antisocial behaviors. (See Robert L. Millet and Noel B. Reynolds, eds., Latter-day Christianity: 10 Basic Issues [booklet, 1998], 46–47.)

3. Obeying the Word of Wisdom helps a missionary teach with power

Obeying the Word of Wisdom blessed one missionary in an unexpected way. While he was teaching a man about the Word of Wisdom, the man looked into his eyes and asked, “Do you mean to tell me that you have never tried drugs, smoked a cigarette, or tasted alcohol in any form?” The missionary looked directly at the man and spoke with a strong voice, “No, sir. I never have.”

The missionary later described the experience that followed: “A power went through me at that moment and I knew why I had always kept the Word of Wisdom. I am grateful that when I came to that moment in my life, I was able to bear a strong testimony of the importance of the Word of Wisdom because I had always been obedient to it.”

4. “Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength” (D&C 10:4)

• What counsel did the Lord give Joseph Smith in D&C 10:4? (See also Mosiah 4:27.) How might this counsel apply to our health? What are the dangers of disregarding this counsel?

5. Tattoos and unusual body piercing

The Apostle Paul taught that our bodies are holy to the Lord and that they are temples in which the Holy Ghost can dwell (1 Corinthians 3:16; 1 Corinthians 6:19–20). Just as we should not defile our bodies by partaking of harmful substances, we should not defile their external surface with tattoos or unusual piercing. Such modifications can have negative physical, social, and spiritual consequences. (See David A. Burton, “I Have a Question,”Ensign, Feb. 1999, 52–53.)

"Lesson 22: The Word of Wisdom: “A Principle with Promise”," Doctrine and Covenants and Church History Gospel Doctrine Teacher’s Manual, (1999)"

Trials of Faith

Paul and I are having our faith thoroughly tested as of late. It started out with us losing our job. That was definitely a surprise to us and really threw us for a loop. It was very unexpected. Next, Paul sprained his ankle. It wasn't bad enough to go to the hospital but it did have him on crutches for a few days then not able to walk stably for a week after that. Then I found out I needed to have surgery on my ear to repair a ruptured eardrum that hadn't healed on it's own. This has probably been one of the hardest months of my life, emotionally and spiritually.

As I write this we still haven't found a job. I've been forced to re-evaluate my food storage, our current spending and our savings. What can we do without? I've realized that the counsel by our prophets to have a good food storage doesn't necessarily mean that we'd need it during a natural disaster or of a similar situation. We might just need it because we've lost our job. I feel so blessed that I've tried to be diligent in this counsel and have built up a pretty good food storage.
Paul's ankle has now healed and that's been a blessing that it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I had surgery on my ear and when I woke up I was very dizzy, disoriented, nauseous, and couldn't walk straight because of no balance. I didn't know that this wasn't normal so finally after about 5 days of not being able to get out of bed, I called my doctor. He saw me in his office and explained that I had pretty severe Vertigo which is very rare after this procedure. He said he had only seen it twice in the 12 years he's been an ENT. I also have to no taste on the right side of my mouth. Another rarity with this procedure. He prescribed me 3 different medications to take and explained that it probably wouldn't go away until after my ear had completely healed in another 4-6 weeks. This was horrible news! How could I do my day to day responsibilities and how could Paul find a job? Once we got home, I asked our dear friend if he would help Paul give me a priesthood blessing. 3 days later the Vertigo was completely gone. I've been so blessed to be able to get back to my day to day responsibilities and that Paul has been able to get back on track to finding a job to support our family. I've really tried to look at all the blessings to come from these trials. Here are a few I've recognized.

#1. We're blessed that we don't have to work for such a dishonest company anymore. We weren't comfortable working under their circumstances so now I guess we won't have to!
#2. Paul sprained his ankle after we had already lost our job so he didn't have to take time off of work because of it.
#3. I had my surgery after we'd already lost our job so Paul, again, didn't have to take time off of work to take care of the children and I.
#4. We have enough savings to get us by for a while and to pay the co-pays and deductibles from my surgery and post-ops.
#5. We have our tax returns coming soon to supplement our income for a couple months.
#6. We have a good food storage to get us by.
#7. We're all healthy. We have each other.

It's been hard to come up with the blessings of these trials but it's imperative that I do! I know that trials make us stronger and that the Lord promised that "after the trial of our faith cometh the blessings." Well, I'm trying to see some of those blessings while we're going through these trials. It's what is strengthening me and getting me through them. I have such a strong testimony of priesthood blessings! I know the Lord blessed the Vertigo to go away so I could continue with the things I needed to do. I know that if we endure these trials to the end, the Lord will bless us with the righteous desires of our hearts! We will find the means to provide for our family. We will be stronger for what we're going through. I know the Lord is there and that he loves us and is watching out for us! I know that I need to be strong and to be a good example to my children that with each other, with our combined prayers, with attending the temple, with our faith, we will be blessed!

Trials and Adversity Lesson 15

Understanding the Purpose of Trials and Adversity

• 1. Ere you left your room this morning,
  Did you think to pray?
  In the name of Christ, our Savior,
  Did you sue for loving favor
  As a shield today?

  [Chorus]
  Oh, how praying rests the weary!
  Prayer will change the night to day.
  So, when life gets dark and dreary,
  Don’t forget to pray.

  2. When your heart was filled with anger,
  Did you think to pray?
  Did you plead for grace, my brother,
  That you might forgive another
  Who had crossed your way?

  3. When sore trials came upon you,
  Did you think to pray?
  When your soul was full of sorrow,
  Balm of Gilead did you borrow
  At the gates of day?

Elder Robert E. Wells shared the following experience that helped him gain a new perspective on the purpose of trials and adversity: “I have been flying many kinds of aircraft for the last 30 years, both in the United States and in Latin American countries. Not too long ago when I had returned to the [United] States after an absence of some years, a very dear friend offered me the use of his new [airplane]. …

“We discussed my qualifications of being covered under his insurance policy, and it turned out that I needed a check ride with a qualified inspector as it had been some time since I had flown that particular type of plane.

“The arrangements were made, and I met the inspector at the side of the airplane at the appointed hour with my licenses from the USA, Argentina, Paraguay, and Ecuador, and logbooks showing flights in Cessna 310s across jungles, mountains, deserts, international boundaries, etc. He smiled calmly but was unimpressed and said, ‘I’ve heard about you, and I have no doubt about how much flying you have done, but I have to assume that those flights were when nothing went wrong. Now let’s fire up this bird and see how well you fly it when everything goes wrong!’

“For the next hour he made everything go wrong! He simulated every emergency he could think of. He turned things off that should have been on. He turned things on that should have been off. He tried to create disorientation or panic. He really wanted to know how well I could fly when everything did go wrong! In the end he climbed out, signed my logbook, and announced, ‘You’re okay. …’

“One of the purposes of this life is to be tested, tried, and proven to see how well we will serve the Lord. The Prophet Joseph [Smith] said that we would be tested to see if we would serve and remain faithful through all hazards. We knew before we came that there would be many adverse circumstances to test us: accidents, sickness, and disease to prove us; temptations and distractions to try us; disappointments, discouragements, reverses, failures, and all kinds of situations to determine our character. …

“The question still is: How well can you fly it when everything goes wrong? How well can you live when every test, every trial, every proof of your faithfulness is exacted of you?” (Robert E. Wells, “How Well Can You Fly It When Everything Goes Wrong?” New Era, June 1978, 4–6).

It is evident that we will all face trials and adversity, regardless of how righteous we are. President John Taylor commented: “I heard the Prophet Joseph say, in speaking to the Twelve on one occasion: ‘You will have all kinds of trials to pass through. And it is quite as necessary for you to be tried as it was for Abraham and other men of God, and (said he) God will feel after you, and He will take hold of you and wrench your very heart strings, and if you cannot stand it you will not be fit for an inheritance in the Celestial Kingdom of God’” (in Deseret News [Weekly], 29 Aug. 1883, 498).

Coping with Adversity

Sister Stella Oaks, mother of Elder Dallin H. Oaks, told the following story of some of her trials and testing and how she learned to cope:

“To find one’s own personal relationship with Heavenly Father, to never doubt that he guides the details of our lives, to be able in life’s conflict to say, ‘Thy will be done,’ is the attaining of the ability to walk by faith. This ability is something that each soul must find in his own way through the creative living-out of any and all trying experiences that may come along. My proving ground came in learning to be obedient to a frightening command—that of accepting the imminent death of my husband after only eleven years of marriage and accepting the challenge of being a mother and woman alone in the world.

“I had watched Lloyd [my husband] become weaker and lose ground from day to day. …

“One June night I knelt alone in prayer, utterly spent, wondering at that midnight hour how humble one had to be to receive an answer to one’s pleading. It was just at that moment that I felt an envelopment of the spirit of peace, a profound assurance that God is over all and that it was his will that was in command and not mine. I could finally say, ‘Thy will be done,’ and feel the peace. … I relaxed in my faith and discovered that I had a new trust in the Lord.

“But even though this sweet peace enveloped me I still could not sleep, and once more I turned on the light. As I reached for the Doctrine and Covenants, … it fell open to a section where [a message was given to me]. … I was given to know that the Lord loved me and that I would be made equal to my mission. I felt an encircling love that has sustained me ever since that great moment of change in my life. I have had continual hardships and challenges but always the sure knowledge that Jesus is the Christ, our Redeemer, and that he sustains us through the opposition that must arise in all things” (“Thy Will Be Done,” in Leon Hartshorn, comp., Remarkable Stories from the Lives of Latter-day Saint Women, 2 vols. [1973–75], 2:183–84).

• What did Sister Oaks learn through her trials? What are some lessons you have learned through adversity that you could appropriately share with the class?

• Why is it important that we learn to accept the will of the Lord?

As Sister Oaks exercised faith and prayer, gained strength and assurance from the scriptures, and leaned on Jesus Christ, she discovered that she could deal with her trials. The same holds true for each of us.

Faith in Our Savior

Jesus Christ will help us bear our burdens if we seek Him.

• Read Matthew 11:28–30. What blessing is promised to those who come to Jesus Christ?

Elder Richard G. Scott said: “To exercise faith is to trust that the Lord knows what He is doing with you and that He can accomplish it for your eternal good even though you cannot understand how He can possibly do it. We are like infants in our understanding of eternal matters and their impact on us here in mortality. Yet at times we act as if we knew it all. When you pass through trials for His purposes, as you trust Him, exercise faith in Him, He will help you. That support will generally come step by step, a portion at a time. While you are passing through each phase, the pain and difficulty that come from being enlarged will continue. If all matters were immediately resolved at your first petition, you could not grow. Your Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son love you perfectly. They would not require you to experience a moment more of difficulty than is absolutely needed for your personal benefit or for that of those you love” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1995, 19; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 17).

Prayer and Fasting

“Prayer in the hour of need is a great boon. From simple trials to our Gethsemanes, prayer can put us in touch with God, our greatest source of comfort and counsel” (Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Oct. 1974, 91; or Ensign, Nov. 1974, 66).

When we need special help from the Lord, we should remember that strength can come from fasting. As we accompany our prayers with fasting, we can feel the Spirit and learn the Father’s will for us. (See lesson 6, “Fasting,” in The Latter-day Saint Woman, Part A.)

Scriptures

The scriptures contain many passages that can enlighten, encourage, and comfort. We can find answers to our questions in the scriptures. The words of the living prophets can give direction. When we face our problems, strengthened with the messages of the scriptures, we will find new courage and direction.

Priesthood Blessings

We have the privilege of receiving blessings through the priesthood. These blessings can be given for many reasons, including sickness, distress, and trial. (See lesson 12, “Priesthood Ordinances,” in The Latter-day Saint Woman, Part A.)

President Ezra Taft Benson explained some of the times when we could ask for a blessing: “In a particularly stressful time, or in the anticipation of a critical event, one can seek for a blessing under the hands of the priesthood. Even the Prophet Joseph Smith sought and received a blessing under the hands of Brigham Young and received solace and direction for his soul” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1974, 92; or Ensign, Nov. 1974, 66).

Our patriarchal blessing can also give us insight and help us find direction. Often we can find answers to our problems or concerns through studying this special blessing.

Service and Work

As we become involved in helping others, our thoughts are lifted from our own personal problems. President Lorenzo Snow said, “When you find yourselves a little gloomy, look around you and find somebody that is in a worse plight than yourself; go to him and find out what the trouble is, then try to remove it with the wisdom which the Lord bestows upon you; and the first thing you know, your gloom is gone, you feel light, the Spirit of the Lord is upon you, and everything seems illuminated” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1899, 2–3).

Strength from Others

True friends who can listen to our problems and give us counsel and encouragement are a great help in times of stress. The Prophet Joseph Smith wrote of the joy of friends: “How sweet the voice of a friend is; one token of friendship from any source whatever awakens and calls into action every sympathetic feeling” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 134).

Our greatest friendships should begin in our homes and extend from there. We can help our friends bear their burdens, and they should help us bear ours.

• Mosiah 18:8–9.

• 8 And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are ^adesirous to come into the ^bfold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light;

  9 Yea, and are ^awilling to mourn with those that ^bmourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as ^cwitnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the ^dfirst resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—

Enduring Our Burdens Well

While the Prophet Joseph Smith was illegally jailed in Liberty, Missouri, he received a revelation in answer to his petition to the Lord. This revelation is found in Doctrine and Covenants 121 and contains information about the blessings we can receive if we endure afflictions well.

• Doctrine and Covenants 121:7–8.
  
• 7 My son, ^apeace be unto thy soul; thine ^badversity and thine afflictions shall be but a ^csmall moment;

  8 And then, if thou ^aendure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy ^bfoes.

• What blessings were promised to Joseph Smith if he endured well?

George A. Smith recalled the following counsel given by Joseph Smith: “He [Joseph] told me I should never get discouraged whatever difficulties might surround me. If I was sunk in the lowest pit of Nova Scotia and all the Rocky Mountains piled on top of me, I ought not to be discouraged but hang on, exercise faith and keep up good courage and I should come out on the top of the heap” (quoted in My Errand from the Lord: A Personal Study Guide for Melchizedek Priesthood Quorums, 1976–77, 175–76).

To help us endure our afflictions in the manner suggested, we might ask ourselves, “How can I make this experience a blessing in my life? What can I learn from this experience?”

Elder Robert E. Wells said: “Sometimes we go many years with no problems, and then they seem to come all at once, and the burdens seem to be more than we can bear. But through it all, we have two main strengths to rely on: (1) We knew before we came that it would be like this, yet we wanted to come because the blessings of remaining faithful to the end would earn us eternal exaltation. (2) We will never be tempted beyond our ability to resist” (New Era, June 1978, 5).

• 1 Corinthians 10:13.
  
• 13 There hath no temptation ^ataken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be ^btempted above that ye are able; but will with the ^ctemptation also make a way to ^descape, that ye may be able to ^ebear it.
• How does the Lord help us bear our trials?

Blessings after Tribulation

• John 16:33. The Lord reassures us that we can have peace even though we have tribulation.

33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have ^apeace. In the ^bworld ye shall have ^ctribulation: but be of good ^dcheer; I have ^eovercome the world.

Job, who faced great tribulation, received his blessings after he had endured. The Lord accepted Job and gave him “twice as much as he had before. … The Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning” (Job 42:10, 12).

• Doctrine and Covenants 58:2–4. Why must we remain faithful even in times of trial?
  

2 For verily I say unto you, blessed is he that ^akeepeth my commandments, whether in life or in ^bdeath; and he that is ^cfaithful in ^dtribulation, the ^ereward of the same is greater in the kingdom of heaven.

3 Ye cannot behold with your natural ^aeyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the ^bglory which shall follow after much tribulation.

4 For after much ^atribulation come the ^bblessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be ^ccrowned with much ^dglory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand.

Even as Jesus Christ received His glory after He endured all things, so may we. “He that remaineth steadfast and is not overcome, the same shall be saved” (Joseph Smith—Matthew 1:11).

Conclusion

In this life we will face much adversity. The Lord told the Prophet Joseph Smith that he would suffer great afflictions. Also he partly explained why: “Know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good” (D&C 122:7). This comforting assurance enabled Joseph to endure his afflictions well. The promises given to him apply to us also: “Therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever” (D&C 122:9).

“How Firm a Foundation”

3. Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,

For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.

I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand, …

Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

4. When through the deep waters I call thee to go,

The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow,

For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless, …

And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.

5. When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,

My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.

The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design …

Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

7. The soul that on Jesus hath leaned for repose

I will not, I cannot, desert to his foes;

That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake, …

I’ll never, no never, no never forsake!

Forgiving Others

I've learned a valuable lesson recently. A few years ago I was deeply hurt by a close friend of mine. I moved on, tried to forget about the incident and made many new friends. Over the last few weeks it has been on my mind again. I haven't seen or spoken to her in since it happened but I knew that I REALLY needed to forgive her. I thought I had because I had moved on but I never completely forgave her because I didn't tell her that I did. So a few days ago, I finally told her. I emailed her and explained how I felt and how sorry I was that it happened and that I forgave her.

The Lord has blessed me with a great peace since then. Part of the forgiveness process it to tell the offending person(s) that you forgive them. I thought I could just forgive her and that was that. Boy was I wrong! I don't know if she got my email or not or how she feels about it but I do know that I've done what I know I needed to. I know it was the right thing to do even if it's been a few years since it happened.

Here is an excerpt from a talk given by James E. Faust in April 2007.

The Healing Power of Forgiveness

James E. Faust

"The Healing Power of Forgiveness," , (April 1, 2007)

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If we can find forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt and injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem and well-being.

"If we can find forgiveness in our hearts for those who have caused us hurt and injury, we will rise to a higher level of self-esteem and well-being. Some recent studies show that people who are taught to forgive become “less angry, more hopeful, less depressed, less anxious and less stressed,” which leads to greater physical well-being. Another of these studies concludes “that forgiveness … is a liberating gift [that] people can give to themselves.”

...In our day the Lord has admonished us, “Ye ought to forgive one another,” and then makes it requisite when He says, “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.”

Let us remember that we need to forgive to be forgiven. In the words of one of my favorite hymns, “Oh, forgive as thou wouldst be e’en forgiven now by me.” With all my heart and soul, I believe in the healing power that can come to us as we follow the counsel of the Savior “to forgive all men.”

Parenting struggles

I'm continuously looking for articles, books, websites, etc. to tell me how to be a better parent. I'm finding that no two ideas have been the same. Everyone has their own idea on how to do it. It's a little confusing. I get frustrated because I feel like I'm fighting with the kids more and more. There have been times when I've found a quiet moment to myself and I sob because I don't feel like I'm a good parent. I think of all the things that I've been doing wrong. I think of those families that, on the outside, look perfect and why can't I be like them?

Well, with studying a few General Authorities articles and also doing a lot of praying I've learned that my answers lie right in front of me. I've come to the realization that no family is perfect despite what it looks like outside their closed doors. I've been prompted to compliment my children more. Spend more time with them personally. Listen to them when they talk. I also know I need to continue to push forward with daily family scripture study, weekly church attendance and diligent weekly Family Home Evening. And most importantly, LOTS OF PRAYER. The Lord wants to hear my concerns and my desires. With all of this combined, our family will be just fine. I'll be blessed with the things I need to raise my children in a way that is pleasing to the Lord. I know we won't be perfect but by working together side by side, praying together, and doing all these things that are spiritual and good, we'll be blessed with a happy family.

My confidence is growing. I know the Lord will bless me if I continue to try to do better. I love my children and I know what a blessing they are to me and my husband! The Lord has asked us to bring children into this world and if He commands it, then He'll provide a way for us to do it if we are obedient!

1 Nephi 8:37 And he did exhort them then with all the feeling of a tender parent, that they would hearken to his words, that perhaps the Lord would be merciful to them, and not cast them off; yea, my father did preach unto them.

www.LDS.org "Effective parenting means taking the time to listen and to understand the hearts of our children so that we can grow together in faith, friendship, and love."

The Greatest Challenge in the World—Good Parenting

Elder James E. Faust

Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

James E. Faust, "The Greatest Challenge in the World—Good Parenting", Ensign, Nov. 1990, 32

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My beloved brothers and sisters and friends, I ask for your faith and prayers this afternoon as I feel moved upon to discuss a subject which I have chosen to call the greatest challenge in the world. It has to do with the privilege and responsibility of being good parents. On this subject there are about as many opinions as there are parents, yet there are few who claim to have all of the answers. I am certainly not one of them.

I feel that there are more outstanding young men and women among our people at present than at any other moment in my lifetime. This presupposes that most of these fine young people have come from good homes and have committed, caring parents. Even so, the most conscientious parents feel that they may have made some mistakes. One time, when I did a thoughtless thing, I remember my own mother exclaiming, “Where did I fail?”

The Lord has directed, “Bring up your children in light and truth.” (D&C 93:40.) To me, there is no more important human effort.

Being a father or a mother is not only a great challenge, it is a divine calling. It is an effort requiring consecration. President David O. McKay stated that being parents is “the greatest trust that has been given to human beings.” (The Responsibility of Parents to Their Children, pamphlet, Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, n.d., p. 1.)

While few human challenges are greater than that of being good parents, few opportunities offer greater potential for joy. Surely no more important work is to be done in this world than preparing our children to be God-fearing, happy, honorable, and productive. Parents will find no more fulfilling happiness than to have their children honor them and their teachings. It is the glory of parenthood. John testified, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” (3 Jn. 1:4.) In my opinion, the teaching, rearing, and training of children requires more intelligence, intuitive understanding, humility, strength, wisdom, spirituality, perseverance, and hard work than any other challenge we might have in life. This is especially so when moral foundations of honor and decency are eroding around us. To have successful homes, values must be taught, and there must be rules, there must be standards, and there must be absolutes. Many societies give parents very little support in teaching and honoring moral values. A number of cultures are becoming essentially valueless, and many of the younger people in those societies are becoming moral cynics.

As societies as a whole have decayed and lost their moral identity and so many homes are broken, the best hope is to turn greater attention and effort to the teaching of the next generation—our children. In order to do this, we must first reinforce the primary teachers of children. Chief among these are the parents and other family members, and the best environment should be in the home. Somehow, some way, we must try harder to make our homes stronger so that they will stand as sanctuaries against the unwholesome, pervasive moral dry rot around us. Harmony, happiness, peace, and love in the home can help give children the required inner strength to cope with life’s challenges. Barbara Bush, wife of President George Bush, a few months ago said to the graduates of Wellesley College:

“But whatever the era, whatever the times, one thing will never change: Fathers and mothers, if you have children, they must come first. You must read to your children and you must hug your children and you must love your children. Your success as a family, our success as a society, depends not on what happens in the White House but on what happens inside your house.” (Washington Post, 2 June 1990, p. 2.)

To be a good father and mother requires that the parents defer many of their own needs and desires in favor of the needs of their children. As a consequence of this sacrifice, conscientious parents develop a nobility of character and learn to put into practice the selfless truths taught by the Savior Himself.

I have the greatest respect for single parents who struggle and sacrifice, trying against almost superhuman odds to hold the family together. They should be honored and helped in their heroic efforts. But any mother’s or father’s task is much easier where there are two functioning parents in the home. Children often challenge and tax the strength and wisdom of both parents.

A few years ago, Bishop Stanley Smoot was interviewed by President Spencer W. Kimball. President Kimball asked, “How often do you have family prayer?”

Bishop Smoot answered, “We try to have family prayer twice a day, but we average about once.”

President Kimball answered, “In the past, having family prayer once a day may have been all right. But in the future it will not be enough if we are going to save our families.”

I wonder if having casual and infrequent family home evening will be enough in the future to fortify our children with sufficient moral strength. In the future, infrequent family scripture study may be inadequate to arm our children with the virtue necessary to withstand the moral decay of the environment in which they will live. Where in the world will the children learn chastity, integrity, honesty, and basic human decency if not at home? These values will, of course, be reinforced at church, but parental teaching is more constant.

When parents try to teach their children to avoid danger, it is no answer for parents to say to their children, “We are experienced and wise in the ways of the world, and we can get closer to the edge of the cliff than you.” Parental hypocrisy can make children cynical and unbelieving of what they are taught in the home. For instance, when parents attend movies they forbid their children to see, parental credibility is diminished. If children are expected to be honest, parents must be honest. If children are expected to be virtuous, parents must be virtuous. If you expect your children to be honorable, you must be honorable.

Among the other values children should be taught are respect for others, beginning with the child’s own parents and family; respect for the symbols of faith and patriotic beliefs of others; respect for law and order; respect for the property of others; respect for authority. Paul reminds us that children should “learn first to shew piety at home.” (1 Tim. 5:4.)

One of the most difficult parental challenges is to appropriately discipline children. Child rearing is so individualistic. Every child is different and unique. What works with one may not work with another. I do not know who is wise enough to say what discipline is too harsh or what is too lenient except the parents of the children themselves, who love them most. It is a matter of prayerful discernment for the parents. Certainly the overarching and undergirding principle is that the discipline of children must be motivated more by love than by punishment. Brigham Young counseled, “If you are ever called upon to chasten a person, never chasten beyond the balm you have within you to bind up.” (In Journal of Discourses, 9:124–25.) Direction and discipline are, however, certainly an indispensable part of child rearing. If parents do not discipline their children, then the public will discipline them in a way the parents do not like. Without discipline, children will not respect either the rules of the home or of society.

A principal purpose for discipline is to teach obedience. President David O. McKay stated, “Parents who fail to teach obedience to their children, if [their] homes do not develop obedience society will demand it and get it. It is therefore better for the home, with its kindliness, sympathy and understanding to train the child in obedience rather than callously to leave him to the brutal and unsympathetic discipline that society will impose if the home has not already fulfilled its obligation.” (The Responsibility of Parents to Their Children, p. 3.)

An essential part of teaching children to be disciplined and responsible is to have them learn to work. As we grow up, many of us are like the man who said, “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” (Jerome Klapka Jerome, in The International Dictionary of Thoughts, comp. John P. Bradley, Leo F. Daniels, and Thomas C. Jones Chicago: J. G. Ferguson Publishing Co., 1969, p. 782.) Again, the best teachers of the principle of work are the parents themselves. For me, work became a joy when I first worked alongside my father, grandfather, uncles, and brothers. I am sure that I was often more of an aggravation than a help, but the memories are sweet and the lessons learned are valuable. Children need to learn responsibility and independence. Are the parents personally taking the time to show and demonstrate and explain so that children can, as Lehi taught, “act for themselves and not … be acted upon”? (2 Ne. 2:26.)

Luther Burbank, one of the world’s greatest horticulturists, said, “If we had paid no more attention to our plants than we have to our children, we would now be living in a jungle of weeds.” (In Elbert Hubbard’s Scrap Book, New York: Wm. H. Wise and Co., 1923, p. 227.)

Children are also beneficiaries of moral agency by which we are all afforded the opportunity to progress, grow, and develop. That agency also permits children to pursue the alternate choice of selfishness, wastefulness, self-indulgence, and self-destruction. Children often express this agency when very young.

Let parents who have been conscientious, loving, and concerned and who have lived the principles of righteousness as best they could be comforted in knowing that they are good parents despite the actions of some of their children. The children themselves have a responsibility to listen, obey, and, having been taught, to learn. Parents cannot always answer for all their children’s misconduct because they cannot ensure the children’s good behavior. Some few children could tax even Solomon’s wisdom and Job’s patience.

There is often a special challenge for those parents who are affluent or overly indulgent. In a sense, some children in those circumstances hold their parents hostage by withholding their support of parental rules unless the parents acquiesce to the children’s demands. Elder Neal A. Maxwell has said, “Those who do too much for their children will soon find they can do nothing with their children. So many children have been so much done for they are almost done in.” (Ensign, May 1975, p. 101.) It seems to be human nature that we do not fully appreciate material things we have not ourselves earned.

There is a certain irony in the fact that some parents are so anxious for their children to be accepted by and be popular with their peers; yet these same parents fear that their children may be doing the things their peers are doing.

Generally, those children who make the decision and have the resolve to abstain from drugs, alcohol, and illicit sex are those who have adopted and internalized the strong values of their homes as lived by their parents. In times of difficult decisions they are most likely to follow the teachings of their parents rather than the example of their peers or the sophistries of the media which glamorize alcohol consumption, illicit sex, infidelity, dishonesty, and other vices. They are like Helaman’s two thousand young men who “had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them” from death. “And they rehearsed … the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it.” (Alma 56:47–48.)

What seems to help cement parental teachings and values in place in children’s lives is a firm belief in Deity. When this belief becomes part of their very souls, they have inner strength. So, of all that is important to be taught, what should parents teach? The scriptures tell us that parents are to teach their children “faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost,” and “the doctrine of repentance.” (D&C 68:25.) These truths must be taught in the home. They cannot be taught in the public schools, nor will they be fostered by the government or by society. Of course, Church programs can help, but the most effective teaching takes place in the home.

Parental teaching moments need not be big or dramatic or powerful. We learn this from the Master Teacher. Charles Henry Parkhurst said:

“The completed beauty of Christ’s life is only the added beauty of little inconspicuous acts of beauty—talking with the woman at the well; showing the young ruler the stealthy ambition laid away in his heart that kept him out of the Kingdom of Heaven; … teaching a little knot of followers how to pray; kindling a fire and broiling fish that his disciples might have a breakfast waiting for them when they came ashore from a night of fishing, cold, tired, and discouraged. All of these things, you see, let us in so easily into the real quality and tone of [Christ’s] interests, so specific, so narrowed down, so enlisted in what is small, so engrossed with what is minute.” (“Kindness and Love,” in Leaves of Gold, Honesdale, Pa.: Coslet Publishing Co., 1938, p. 177.)

And so it is with being parents. The little things are the big things sewn into the family tapestry by a thousand threads of love, faith, discipline, sacrifice, patience, and work.

There are some great spiritual promises which may help faithful parents in this church. Children of eternal sealings may have visited upon them the divine promises made to their valiant forebears who nobly kept their covenants. Covenants remembered by parents will be remembered by God. The children may thus become the beneficiaries and inheritors of these great covenants and promises. This is because they are the children of the covenant. (See Orson F. Whitney, in Conference Report, Apr. 1929, pp. 110–11.)

God bless the struggling, sacrificing, honorable parents of this world. May He especially honor the covenants kept by faithful parents among our people and watch over these children of the covenant. I pray that this may be so in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Friendship

I have been very blessed with good friends. I have my "best" friend from high school, my "best" friend in my husband, and a few "best" friends that have come along since then.

When my husband and I were first married we played games almost every weekend for 2 years with 2 couples who were our best friends. We knew these friends in college and continued that friendship after we were all married. Still, to this day, after we've all moved apart, we keep in touch with these 2 couples and try to see them whenever possible. There was a period of about 6 years, after both of those couples moved away, that we had a hard time finding just the right friends to fill that void. There were those that we got along with and would do things with occasionally but no one that we felt as close to as those other 4 friends. This was hard for me because I needed that closeness with a friend that I had had before with someone who lived near me. During this 6 year period, I had a different friend who hurt me terribly. Something else in her life meant more to her than our friendship and it left me feeling hurt and alone. Just after this experience, (we had moved out of town and into a new area) I realized that I had a great opportunity to fill that void and find some friends who I could associate with that would make me a better person and who cared about me the same in return. We've lived in the area now for 2 1/2 years and I couldn't be more blessed! I have more close friends than I could have imagined and a few that I now consider "best" friends. The Lord has truly blessed me! I still keep close contact to those first 4 "best" friends who live away from us but I'm blessed to have some now that I live close to. The Lord knows our needs. If we live the way we're supposed to and have righteous desires, I know the Lord will bless us and He has!

Friendship: A Gospel Principle

Marlin K. Jensen

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If we truly want to be tools in the hands of our Heavenly Father in bringing to pass His eternal purposes, we need only to be a friend.

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Good morning, brothers and sisters. Although, candidly, one is never completely comfortable with an assignment like this, I do sincerely appreciate the opportunity to speak to all of you on this beautiful Easter morning.

My wise father once told me that if I listened carefully to what people talk about from the pulpit in church, I would know which principles of the gospel were of concern to them and those with which they might be struggling at any given time. Through the years, my father’s observation has caused me to be very careful in the choice of subjects about which I speak! Nevertheless, I have an admission to make today. Since President Gordon B. Hinckley shared with us the three fundamental needs every new member of the Church has for a friend, a responsibility, and nourishing by the good word of God, I have been personally concerned about my performance as a friend.

The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that “friendship is one of the grand fundamental principles of ‘Mormonism.’” ¹ That thought ought to inspire and motivate all of us because I feel that friendship is a fundamental need of our world. I think in all of us there is a profound longing for friendship, a deep yearning for the satisfaction and security that close and lasting relationships can give. Perhaps one reason the scriptures make little specific mention of the principle of friendship is because it should be manifest quite naturally as we live the gospel. In fact, if the consummate Christian attribute of charity has a first cousin, it is friendship. To paraphrase the Apostle Paul slightly, friendship “suffereth long, and is kind; [friendship] envieth not; … seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; … [friendship] never faileth.” ²

Like so much of what is worthwhile in life, our needs for friendship are often best met in the home. If our children feel friendship within the family, with each other, and with parents, they will not be desperate for acceptance outside the family. I think one of life’s most satisfying accomplishments for my wife and me is to have lived long enough to see our children become good friends. It’s definitely a miracle that those in our family who in younger years occasionally threatened one another with serious bodily harm now seek out and genuinely enjoy each other’s friendship. Similarly, I think no finer compliment can be paid to parents than to have children say that their parents are among their best friends.

Friendship is also a vital and wonderful part of courtship and marriage. A relationship between a man and a woman that begins with friendship and then ripens into romance and eventually marriage will usually become an enduring, eternal friendship. Nothing is more inspiring in today’s world of easily dissolved marriages than to observe a husband and wife quietly appreciating and enjoying each other’s friendship year in and year out as they experience together the blessings and trials of mortality. A recently published report on 25 years of landmark marital research finds that “the linchpin of a lasting marriage … is a simple concept with a profound impact: friendship.” ³ In a poignant letter written by the Prophet Joseph Smith to his wife, Emma, during the separations and tribulations of Missouri, he comforted her by saying, “Oh my affectionate Emma, I want you to remember that I am a true and faithful friend, to you and the children, forever.” ⁴

The inspired organization of the Church also fosters friendships. From our youngest to our oldest years we are in settings where friendship and sociality can flourish. In interviews, meetings, classes, quorums, councils, activities, and a variety of other opportunities for association, we can make friends and find understanding. The salutation prescribed for greeting the elders attending the School of the Prophets in Kirtland expresses the spirit of friendship that might well serve as a creed for each of us: “I receive you to fellowship, in a determination that is fixed, immovable, and unchangeable, to be your friend … through the grace of God in the bonds of love.” ⁵

All of our interactions in the Church are made more enjoyable and productive when they are accompanied by genuine feelings of friendship. A teacher of the gospel, for instance, who doesn’t befriend his or her students will seldom teach with lasting influence and effect. I still treasure a one-sentence entry in my high school yearbook in which a seminary teacher I loved and from whom I learned much told me he was grateful to be my friend.

A bishop, no matter how skilled in administrative matters, must be a friend to children, youth, and adults if he is to help them reach their spiritual potential. I was touched once when a young woman I knew went to her bishop to confess a serious transgression. She had been worried about how the bishop might react to her deviation from the gospel path and had only gone to him after considerable urging. When I asked her afterward what his response had been, she told me with great emotion that her bishop had wept with her and that in working with him to gain the Lord’s forgiveness, she now considered her bishop to be one of her best friends.

There is a particular challenge we face as Latter-day Saints in establishing and maintaining friendships. Because our commitment to marriage, family, and the Church is so strong, we often feel challenged by constraints of time and energy in reaching out in friendship to others beyond that core group. I experienced this dilemma personally in recent days as I tried to steal a few moments at home to prepare this talk. Twice, friends from my past, whom I love dearly but see only occasionally, dropped in to visit. During what ought to have been choice times of reunion and reminiscence, I ironically found myself growing inwardly impatient for the visits to end so that I could get back to writing my talk about friendship!

I have since felt ashamed. How selfish we can be. How unwilling to be inconvenienced, to give, to bless and be blessed. What kind of parents or neighbors or servants of the Lord Jesus Christ can we be without being a friend? In this information age, is not friendship still the best technology for sharing the truths and way of life we cherish? Is not our reluctance voluntarily to reach out to others in friendship a significant obstacle to helping God accomplish His eternal purposes?

Years ago when I was serving as a bishop, a recently converted family moved into our rural Utah community. These good people had joined the Church in the eastern United States and had been warmly fellowshipped and put to work in a small branch there. When they came to our larger, more-established ward, they somehow slipped through the cracks. Some of the family members, particularly the father, became disenchanted with the Church and its members.

One Sunday morning when I noticed the father was missing from priesthood meeting, I left the meetinghouse and drove to his home. He invited me in, and we had a very honest conversation about the struggle he was having with his new faith and neighbors. After exploring various possibilities for responding to his concerns, none of which seemed to appeal to him very much, I asked him with a tone of frustration in my voice just what we could do to help him. I’ve never forgotten his reply:

“Well, bishop,” he said (and I will need to paraphrase here slightly), “for heaven’s sake, whatever you do, please don’t assign me a friend.”

I learned a great lesson that day. No one wants to become a “project”; we all want spontaneously to be loved. And, if we are to have friends, we want them to be genuine and sincere, not “assigned.”

Brothers and sisters, my message today is very simple: if we truly want to be tools in the hands of our Heavenly Father in bringing to pass His eternal purposes, we need only to be a friend. Consider the power of each one of us, 10 million strong, of our own free will and choice reaching out to those not yet of our faith in unconditional friendship. We would no longer be accused of offering warm bread and a cold shoulder. Imagine the consequences for good if each active family in the Church offered consistent concern and genuine friendship to a less-active family or a new-member family. The power is in each one of us to be a friend. Old and young, rich and poor, educated and humble, in every language and country, we all have the capacity to be a friend.

Our Savior, shortly before His Crucifixion, said to His disciples: “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends.” ⁶ Having been so richly blessed by Christ’s friendship, I pray that we will now be to others what He is to us: a true friend. At no time will we be more Christlike than when we are a friend. I testify of the inestimable value of friends in my own life and express my gratitude to all of them this morning. I know that when we offer ourselves in friendship, we make a most significant contribution to God’s work and to the happiness and progress of His children. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Motherhood

I don't know if it's my hormones from just having a baby or if I really am a horrible parent these days! I would probably vote on the first but my kids would say the later! It has really been weighing on my mind on how to be a more patient mom, a more loving mom, a more fun mom, and a better listening mom. I had an emotional breakdown about it and then I found these three things. The "11 Steps" I actually found on a social network and had a good laugh at how true it seems. It brightened my day and made me feel a little better! The video is from http://www.lds.org and had a profound spiritual impact on me. The article below is from http://mormon.org I know that being a mother is a divine calling from the Lord. If I have faith in Him, He'll help me in this desired journey of becoming a better mother. “No other success can compensate for failure in the home.” –David O. McKay

(Click HERE for the video)

Keys to Having a Happy Family on Earth

"Next time you want to shout at your teenage son for not emptying the garbage, ask yourself, 'What would Christ have me do?'

Happiness within your family will most likely be achieved when it’s founded on the teachings of Jesus. That means being unselfish, honest, loyal, loving and a whole host of other virtues, not to mention a lot of effort. A loving and happy family doesn’t happen by accident.

Think back on your own family. There were times that were happy and times that weren’t. What were the happiest moments? Most likely they were when you felt loved. When your dad cried because you were sick. When you saw your parents laugh and smile, and could see how much they loved each other. When your sister gave you a high five for scoring a goal, or vice versa. When you broke a window and your parents forgave you instead of yelling at you. When the car slid off the road during a blizzard and your family had to walk several miles for help. You held hands and sang to make the time go by faster. Your family pitched in to dig someone else out of the snow. Your family suffered through your high school musical even though you were just a stagehand. Maybe your family prayed, sang songs, or attended church together. You can recreate those happy times today within your own family and marriage. If your family didn’t have many of those happy moments when you were young, make a promise that you’ll make things different now."

"Think of the parts you play, or will play, in your family, and all the responsibility that goes along with each one. A parent, a spouse, a sibling—even little children have a lot to do. The effort we put into strengthening our families is the hardest and most significant work any of us will do on earth. Keeping a peaceful home and putting others' needs first has a refining effect on us, and it is no coincidence that these things can sometimes be grueling. God meant for us to be tested so we could grow and master skills we wouldn't learn any other way—skills like patience and unselfishness that will help us become more like God and prepare us to live with our families throughout eternity.

Don’t get discouraged. No matter how hard you try, your marriage and home won’t be perfect. But if you build them around Christ’s principles including faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work and wholesome fun, home can be a place of refuge, peace and immense joy." (http://www.mormon.org)

11 Step Program for those thinking of having kids

by Amy Lawrence on Tuesday, January 4, 2011 at 8:24am

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!'